Sometimes people who are less righteous accuse people who are more
righteous of being unrighteous. That is unrighteous! Job’s friends are an example of this kind of treatment. (Job 4:1-37:24) They supposedly came to grieve with Job and to comfort him. They sat with him for seven days without speaking to him. This must have taken a lot of self-control, given the fact that they had plenty of advice once they started talking. However, I believe that part of their silence was due to shock. Job looked so bad as a result of what he was suffering that they were astonished! They assumed Job was guilty of something and that for that reason, he was suffering. They may have been following custom too.
If we take on the task of trying to grieve with and comfort someone, we should try to find out the cause of the suffering and try to encourage and build up the one we are trying to encourage with God’s help. We must listen well first before we can comfort well. God later rebuked Job’s comforters. (Job 42:7-9). Job didn’t think they did a very good job, and God didn’t either. God has sent a special Comforter, the Holy Spirit. We need His help while we are comforting others. Jesus is acquainted with grief, and we need His help.
Let us listen, love and rely on our triune God, and let us comfort others and build them up. “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Ephesians 4:29.